The art of making decisions – 1 essential technique to use when you are facing a big decision
I’m not sure if you ever had to make a tough decision… HA HA HAAA! No doubt you had to and no doubt you will have to in the future. Maybe you’re at a crossroad right now, put in the situation to make an important decision, which may define your life from now on.
I am not referring to decisions between a latte or a cappuccino, the black boots or the crème ones, a vacation in Greece vs. Italy, but rather to decisions regarding changing your career, to start or end a relationship, to move to another city or even country, to have kids, etc.
I mean life decisions.
Tony Robbins says that “we are the result of our past decisions”. What do I believe?
- That life is full of decisions, small, big and everything in between.
- That the decisions need to be YOURS, not of others, even if they love and want the best for you.
- That you should embrace uncertainty, because you will never have all the information.
- That avoiding making a decision keeps you stuck.
- That a decision from a place of positive emotion has great results.
Let’s dive deeper in #5, because I promised “1 essential exercise” in the title of this article and I want to keep my promise.
If you look back to your life, think of a decision you made with your whole heart, that ‘felt good’ and that you embraced with your whole being. You felt both enthusiasm and inner peace, knowing somehow inexplicably that the Universe supports you.
What was the result of that decision?
And now think of a time when you made a decision when you were angry, sad or felt lack of self-confidence. The decision gave you a heavy, unpleasant or ‘sticky’ feeling, it ‘didn’t feel right’.
What was the result of THAT decision?
Your take-away: Never make a decision from a place of anger, sadness, pressure or lack of self-confidence. ALWAYS MAKE DECISIONS FROM A PLACE OF peace and LOVE.
Your internal GPS knows what is best for you. Stop looking outside of yourself, because… you will search and search and only mistakenly think you’ve found something. The answer comes from within and is ALREADY THERE, you only need to uncovered it. But, in order to hear, see or feel the message from within, you need to connect to your true self and vibrate at the love frequency. Some call it intuition.
OK, but how do I connect to my true self?
Here’s THE exercise I learned from my yoga teacher Christina (@christinaryoga), a yogi inside-out and a wonderful human being:
- What do you feel right in this moment? Is it a good time to make a decision? If not… wait and create the right ‘state’
2. Elevate your state
- Do something that brings you joy and relaxation: it can be physical exercise, nice music, a walk in nature, aaanything you want (for example, my state is good at the end of the day when I feel I’ve changed someone’s in a positive way, I created something valuable for my business or I’ve learned something that helped me grow as a human being)
- Spend time with a person who charges you with positive energy, makes you feel good about yourself and that brings up beautiful feelings in you
- Meditate (link)
3. Test – super important exercise
- Once you’ve elevated your state, sit alone in silence, close your eyes and breathe; sit until you feel you are completely relaxed
- Close your eyes and in your mind say something that you know it’s 100% true, e.g. “the sun raises in the East” with all your conviction 20-30 times; become aware of how your body feels when you say something true: are your muscles tense or relaxed? Is your breath deep or shallow? Is your heart light or heavy?
- Breathe and let go of the previous affirmation
- Now: close your eyes and in your mind say the exact opposite to your previous affirmation, e.g. “the sun rises in the West” with all your being, with all the conviction that you are capable of, 20-30 times; how do feel now, when you are lying: are your muscles tense or relaxed? Is your breath deep or shallow? Is your heart light or heavy?
- And finally breathe in and out a few times: you now know what the difference in how your body feels when you’ve said something true, respectively wen you said something untrue.
Note: Our body naturally reacts when we say something untrue, e.g. for some of us the muscles will tense involuntarily, the breath becomes shallower and we have a heavier feeling in the heart or solar plexus. Repeating this exercise will help you notice how YOUR body reacts when you say something you know it’s untrue. Once you’ve become familiar with this, you can then go and so the same exercise, by first affirming you’ve made the decision one way and then the other way. Which one gives you the better feeling?
4. Find out
- Close your eyes and say with all your being that you’ve made the decision one way, e.g. “I live in Germany, I live in Germany”, 20-30 times and see how it feels
- Breathe and let go of the previous affirmation
- Close your eyes and say with all your being that you’ve made the decision the opposite way, e.g. “I live in my home town, I live in my home town”, 20-30 times and see how it feels
- Do this exercise several times, over a period a few days or weeks, but only after you’ve elevated your state: what does your body tell you?
What information did you receive from within?
- Never make decision from a place of anger, sadness or any heavy feeling. Only make decisions from a place of love.
- Elevate your state and relax, before you make any decision.
- Connect to yourself and reveal the answer from within you.
You already have everything you need. What are waiting for?